"I don't have step-children, I have children that were born before I met their dad."
Disney's Cinderella is a great movie, don't get me wrong! I mean, what girl doesn't want to become a princess and meet a wonderful prince? The part that gets me is what Cinderella did to step-parents! The term "evil step-mother" came straight outta this movie! That's why I'm so happy a friend once shared with me the term, "bonus-mom"!(Thanks, Nicole!) Thinking about it literally, having step-kids is a complete bonus to my life! Granted...I do have the world's best step-kids!
Thinking back to childhood, not many women (if any) picture a divorced man with two children standing opposite her at the alter. Thinking of having bonus-kids isn't always a warm thought. And quite frankly, thanks to Cinderella (and the bad-egg step-parents out there) the thought of having a step-parent is probably quite terrifying as well! However, I have found that being a step-parent is honestly one of the best gifts I have been given in this life! My relationship with my bonus-daughters is awesome! And I have my husband and their mom to thank for that. They have been taught that all their parents are their parents and that we all have different families. This day in age, the term family is such a broad term. My younger kids don't think anything of having sisters that have two houses and they only have one. It's just how we roll! Our lives are richer and more full because of having them in our family, just like having bio kids!
Another quote I love is the one about "step-parents choose to love their step-kids." This is so true! When I entered their lives, the girls were 4 and 8. I didn't have the inherent love for them as a mother does when she gives birth to her children. Learning all about them and getting to know how to 'parent' was something I chose to do...I definitely had the choice not to enter the family. I'm glad I made the choice that I did! It's not always easy, but it sure is a fun ride! So, next time someone comes to you and mentions being a step-parent, please correct them and tell them what a bonus it will be to have more people to love!
Though it is fun to add a little evil into my step-momming from time to time.